on the topic of true love

Ah, True Love....

Some of us have found it,
Some of us have longed for it,
Some of us still long for it...

Some think they have found it,
Some have...

The former want to know how the latter did it, and how do you know?

I have walked the desert of lovelessness,
I have walked in the forest of love's illusions,
I have danced in the joy of real love.

True love isn't finding someone to complete you.
I don't think you find true love until you are already complete.
Rather, I feel you find true love when you are close to realizing your completeness, or at least, are not trying to fill the void of your illusion of incompleteness.

True love is a compliment, not a completion. 
True love doesn't ride up on a white horse with the wind blowing in his/her hair.
True love is for the daring, the fearless, the bold.

If you ask, "where do I find my true love?", I will say, look within...
find your true love, yourself,
only then can you find a companion to share in your journey. 

If you don't appreciate yourself, why should someone else?

Children's concerts for many years to come

When my husband and I had basic cable T.V. and were childless several years ago, we used to sit and watch the local channel that aired the School Holiday programs.  They were kind of boring, but it was fun to laugh about them.  You could always tell what kids wanted to be there, and which ones would have rather stayed home.  We knew some day that we would be attending these kind of concerts in person.

Since my son is in Kindergarten, we went to one of his first of his Holiday Concerts today.
Many eager parents waited for their Child's debut performance.

Guess whose child stole the show.

The funny thing about our son, is, I don't believe his intent is to steal the lime-light.  He was so overjoyed to see his smiling parents in the audience, that he couldn't contain his excitement.

The Kindergardeners stepped up onto stage and started singing.  Some looked bored, others looked dazed, ours was trying to give his parents a show.  He was clearly nervous, wringing his hands at the beginning, yet grinning ear to ear.  He danced when the others stood still, and gestured with more emphasis.  At one point the teacher's aid looked over at me, and we shared a silent chuckle.  I heard the lady next to me say, "that little boy in the orange shirt is so cute!".

As the other grades stepped up to sing, and the others sat back down, he couldn't stop waving to us from where he sat.  What a proud day for a Mom, what a proud day for her son, probably for Dad too, even though he doesn't show his zeal as readily.

Ah, Winter

I love winter, the snow on the ground is beautiful,
I just need to remember how to stay warm

Time to get out the long underwear and thick socks,
Time for footy pajamas (I do love those!),
hot tea, long workouts,
baking in the oven more,
flannel sheets under thick comforters.
A warm kitty-cat on my lap..

Thanksgiving Salad & Workout

One thing I am extremely thankful for this Thanksgiving is my health.

This time last year I was at least 20 pounds, maybe 30 pounds heavier.   The year before that, even more so.  I will no longer use the Holidays as an excuse to become unhealthy.

I had salad and fruit for my Thanksgiving meal, and it was delicious.  I might have eaten just a slice too much watermelon, though!  Now I am thinking about my workout tonight.  Since I just started Dr. Fuhrman's 6 week holiday challenge, I thought about maybe doing Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 dvd all the way through, but having knee issues,  I find some of the exercises hard on my knees when doing them every single day.  I am thinking about alternating "Ripped in 30" with 6 week 6 pack every other day and doing some yoga either afterwards or in the morning.  I love the cardio, but I also love the stretch that yoga gives me, especially on my leg muscles.

Soapbox:

I find that many people often don't care enough about their health to throw away their unhealthy habits.  Maybe it is because they don't think they are worthy enough to live the wonderful, healthy life they should be living.  I know this may have been the case for me, the more weight I gained the less I cared about my appearance.  I dressed sloppier, and continued to eat junk.  I guess one day I just woke up, looked in the mirror and quit lying to myself.  I would say, "it's so hard to lose weight", "I don't know how".

There IS a quick fix to losing weight.  It doesn't come in expensive pills and surgeries.  It comes in eating healthy and exercising.  It comes from not lying to yourself about what foods are healthy.  It comes from educating yourself about eating healthy, and it comes from living that life day in and day out.  Sure, it means you can't have a candy bar every time you go through the check-out line at the grocery store.  But its worth it, I am worth it, you are worth it.

Dr. Fuhrman's Challenge

Its the holidays again and Dr. Fuhrman is hosting his 6 week Holiday Challenge.

Basically the challenge is to eat healthy for these 6 weeks during the Holidays.  You can check out more about the challenge at his website: http://www.drfuhrman.com/events/holiday-challenge/

I have already been eating this way, but joining Dr. F's Challenge is going to help keep me on the straight and narrow.  I also love being able to join up on his website and forums to get advice, give advice and converse with others that are making healthy change in their lives, as I normally can't afford the subscription right now.  And the recipes are wonderful!

Here's to health!

Don't forget the meaning of the Holidays... of Life.

As this holiday season is upon us, 

I realize, I would like to make this a different sort of Holiday season, a non-stressful one.

Amidst all of the hustle and bustle there is something more important.. the FUN!

It is easy to get caught up in the day to day grind.  Sometimes the holidays bring extra worries of finding the right present and putting out the decorations, sending out christmas cards.  

I say, forget these things if they are not fun!  Do something fun this holiday season!  

When I was a child I loved decorating for Christmas with all the various Christmassy nic-nacs.  I also enjoyed watching all of the popular Christmas shows.  It was, indeed a fun, time.  My favorite decoration were the thin metal angels that dangled around in a carousel above a set of candles, circling them when lit.  Mom would put old Christmas records on the "Hi-Fi"and we would put all the different decorations out on the end tables and various surrounding furniture and the fire mantel. 

I remember waking up Christmas morning,  the stockings were full and I could see toys sticking out the top, but I knew I wasn't supposed to touch anything until everyone was up and ready.  The wait before opening presents was excruciatingly long, particularly when we didn't go to midnight christmas church the night before, forcing us to wait until after morning church to open presents.  I could never fully understand why it was so important to ruin a fine Christmas morning with something like boring old church, anyway.

This Christmas I'm not going to worry about the perfect gifts, I am going to put out a few more decorations (inside, I don't like to spend a lot of time in the cold). I'm not going to let the shopping crowds stress me out, I will try to smile more often, I will take 11 straight days off work, I'll dance in footy pajamas and I promise I won't ever go to church.  I will make sure to enjoy spending time with my family, however, on these fine holidays that come around and remind us to "let your spirit be light".  

Kitty Cat Bath

Kitty cat bathing,

One leg raised in the air,  

Tongue smack,

Jingle collar,

Content.

What do I want with 90 Meat Sticks!?!

My son is in Kindergarten.

I recently learned that they have a wrestling league for the youth in our area.

There aren't a lot of sports and activities for 5 year old children so we thought it might be a good idea to get my son active and doing something that might be fun for him too.

So, we went to the wrestling sign up meeting at one of the school's libraries.  

What a culture shock!

We walked in (My husband, my son, and myself) and were greeted and handed paperwork.

There were several parents there; one of them was wearing a WWF Wrestling T-Shirt.  

We sat down to fill out the paperwork and a high school girl comes over and hands us 3 boxes of meat sticks (similar to Slim Jims) for a fundraiser.  I am a strict vegetarian, therefore an instant sense of panic overcame me and I said, "um, I don't think I can sell those, I am a strict vegetarian", to which the girl replied in a dismissive tone, "oh, just take them to work".  I looked at my husband, then I looked at the meat sticks, then I looked at my son sitting there looking a little clueless about the whole situation and I said, "Are you sure you want to do this?".  He said passively, "Yeah, sure".  The next table over, there was a two year old girl crying and a father saying in a overly macho voice, "what are you crying for, do you see anyone else here crying?".  As I was reading my son the rules on the sign up sheet about the 4 day a week training schedule and what is expected, I could tell he wasn't paying attention.  I looked at the meat sticks again, and then looked back at my husband, who was looking annoyed. We heard the meat stick girl giving someone their meat stick fundraiser as she was saying, "they are non-returnable".  My husband and I looked at each other again and he said, "do we want to be stuck with these meat sticks, especially changes his mind in a couple weeks and doesn't want to do this anymore?". "No", I replied immediately, "I am not paying $90 for Meat Sticks!".  I turned to my son and said, "you know what, why don't we do this when you are older and understand it better".  He looked a little upset, but not devastated, after all, earlier he didn't want to come to the meeting because he wanted to play instead, how easy is it going to be to get him to all the practices?  "I think you can make a more informed decision in a year or two", I said, "besides, I am not sure how well you will fit in here".  

I had my husband return the meat sticks and tell them we changed our minds.

I was thinking "you know your a redneck when..."  you have Meat Sticks as your sport fundraiser.   

The Mix Tape

My car and my husband's car are both in the shop.  Because of this, we have been driving my mother-in-laws car.  Its a 1992 car (but only has 120,000 miles on it) and comes fully equipped with am/fm and cassette player. I like having my own choice of music to play in my car, so, finally, this morning I decided to grab a cassette tape I had seen in a jewelry box.  I grabbed the tape on my way out the car, and held my breath as I stuck it into the tape slot.  I had no idea if the cassette player or this old tape even worked.  I immediately pushed rewind to wind the tape to the beginning, as it looked left somewhere in the middle.  After it finally rewound, the tape made a funny chipmunky-scratchy sound, so my finger shot out to the eject button.  Phew, the tape popped out!  It looked okay, so I thought I would give it one more try. TADA!, Jim Morrison's voice sang "Come on Baby Light My Fire".. WOOHOO!

I was off down the road and down memory lane.  I remember this mix tape, a construct of two Twenty-Something girls that hadn't quite found the love they were looking for.  My best friend and I listened to this tape A LOT.  We would listen to it quite often while we worked out with our "Body by Jake" Ab machine, "Body By Jake" Thigh Machine, stepper, hula hoop, twist board rotation.  We called it the "sexy tape", primarily, because of the Paula Cole song "Feelin' Love".  If I recall, it was constructed to play from beginning to end like a story that starts with longing and desire and ends with, well, conquest, I guess.

Since I haven't had a LOT of driving to do today I am only through side one of the tape.  It's in the real lovey mushy section right now.  Though we used songs from different time periods, there are a lot of mid-late 90's songs in there, so the tape is dated.  I can also tell we really wanted to put one Phish song on it because there is a very misplaced "Water in the Sky".

My husband and I were discussing the lost art of the mix-tape.  Though it is easier to make a CD/MP3 mix on the computer, anymore, there was this proud feeling of accomplishment that came with the time and effort of a mix tape.  You had to listen to all the songs while you made it, pause the tape and wait for the perfect time to un-pause it.  I remember the CD/Cassette recorder that we made the tape on, I remember our deliberations on the ensemble, and the boy, girl, boy, girl song fashion.  So far, it is still a very enjoyable tape!

Sailing in the seas of contrast (or maybe floating gently on my back on a noodle)

I'm sailing in this vast ocean of contrasts (Its frickin awesome, by the way),
their waves pushing me closer toward the shores of my ever-changing, ever evolving destiny (of my creation)

AND I DON'T EVEN GET SEA SICK ANYMORE!

I used to swim (quite badly), practically drowning in the huge waves.
But that was another yester-year

Tomorrow, I think I'll buy a noodle and float gently on my back  ;)

Make it BRIGHT! (shine, baby, shine)

The other day, I was thinking back on my younger days with the temptation to sensationalize that time of my life.

It dawned on me, I am Living it, I've been living it (although I hadn't always realized it).. Not some American dream, not some elusive dream, but MY dreams, and they are coming true in the strangest ways.  And now that I realize what is happening, now that I really know what to do, the possibilities are ENDLESS!

Here I am, now, standing on my own summit of creation, realizing what it REALLY means,seeing these manifestations beginning to appear,  knowing how far I've come, and I am SO excited about the adventure that still lies ahead.


I want to shout it to the roof-tops!

"YOU ARE LIVING IT!"

"Make it the BEST!"

"Make it BRIGHT!"

The Circle of Thrift

I love to go thrift shopping.
I don't do it to necessarily save money, though that may be a side effect
It's far more convenient and discreet than Garage Sales (you'll never know for sure who owned the stuff before)
I love finding clothing styles that are cool yet out of date.
I love finding jeans that have a worn look because they have been worn, not manufactured.
I like laughing at the ridiculous things there too!
I like filling up a bag for 5 bucks.


I have made a few thrift store observations recently:

People must hang onto their skinny jeans now more than ever because there always seems to be more bigger sizes than smaller ones.
Either no women have feet as big as mine, or women with big feet don't donate their shoes.

I can't wait til I make a whole day thrifting extravaganza!

There are other more practical reasons to love thrift stores as well.
Thrift stores are environmentally friendly.
Many of them use profits to help people in need or donate to people in need.

I have lost weight recently and donated all my bigger clothes to the thrift stores.
I must keep the "circle of thrift" moving.

I have to blow on it, it might be old.

My son is a very astute kindergartener,
but sometimes he baffles me.
He goes with his class every Friday to the Library at school and they get to bring a book home.
We have been reading a lovely book he picked out called "The Bunny Book" by Richard Scarry.  I vaguely remember the picture on the cover of the book from when I was young.
Tonight he read me "The Bunny Book" again and afterwards he closed the book and blew on it.
(I had seen him do this the night before, also)
I said, "we probably shouldn't blow on that book since it is borrowed and we really don't want to spread germs"
His reply was, "but I HAVE to blow on it, it might be old"
Finding no possible connection to having to blow on old things, aside from blowing into Nintendo cartridges, I inquired, "I don't understand, sweetie, why would you need to blow on it because it's old?"
"Because that's what they do in the movies", he replied.
"OH!" I exclaimed, "I see", trying not to giggle, I explained how the old books in the movies have been sitting a long time and are dusty and THAT'S why they blow on them!

What's a Turkey's Favorite Holiday?

My son and I were sitting at the table drinking our Banana Chocolate Smoothies and sharing in conversation when he says, "What's a turkey's favorite Holiday?".
I looked at him, one eyebrow raised as if to say, "where did that come from?", and said jestingly, "well probably not Thanksgiving!"
We laughed, for a moment, until his look changed from amused to serious again.
"Do you think its Christmas?" I asked.
He remained silent, after all, Mom is the one that is supposed to have the answers to all of life's important questions.
"I think an awful lot of people still eat Turkey on Christmas" I said pensively.  "Hmmm".
I thought quickly of all of the Holidays a 5 year old would deem important.  Halloween?  Easter? Fourth of...
"I've got it!" I said.  "I think a Turkey's favorite Holiday is probably the Fourth of July."
He looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes.
"It's way too warm on the Fourth of July for people to roast turkeys in their ovens" I explained.  "Instead they are having picnics and eating macaroni salad and watermelon and stuff".
He looked at me, this time, eyes gleaming, as if I had just answered the question to the meaning of life.
Another one of life's great mysteries solved.

Walking with Leslie

When I started my hard core journey to weight loss a year ago, I started slowly with my workouts.  I got some of Leslie Sansone's walk at home videos and started using them.  I would do either the 2 or 3 mile walks at that time (and the 1 mile if I was particularly tired).  I remember the first time I put in her 4 fast miles video.  I was still very out of shape and thought I might die.  I didn't do that one again for a while and when I did, I still walked during the "boosted walking" segment.  Now, as a person that is in pretty good shape, I LOVE Leslie's 4 fast mile DVD.

I love working out to exercise DVDs.  It just fits my lifestyle.  I can work out while my son is playing or after I put him to bed.  I always fall back on Leslie's 4 fast miles for a straight cardio workout.  My shoulder has been hurting from some of my other workouts so I am going to take a break from the strength (particularly arm/chest/shoulder) and this week I will be doing Leslie's 10 day challenge with the 4 fast miles.  I enjoy her banter (even when I have heard it hundreds of times!) I also like the music in her videos, it helps me keep that pep in my step and puts a smile on my face.  Maybe she can help me boost through my plateau again, like she has in the past!


*** update:  I just read on Leslie's blog that Leslie has (starting today) a special challenge.  I think I will consider myself an advanced walker, so, my challenge will be 5 miles every day for 21 days (for the month of sept.) apparently weekends are freebie days.  I am going to take Leslie's Challenge!  Why not?

Ode to the Farm Market

I love the Farm Market!

I love going there and seeing all the nice local farmers

I love talking to them

I love buying the fruits and veggies.

I love the melons

I love the corn.

I love the apples

I love the carrots

I love the greens

I love the squash 

I love the beans

I love all the fresh, local fruits & veggies!

I love walking around in the sea of people, making healthy choices.

Best Banana Chocolate Smoothies EVER

My son says the other day,
"Mom, I love you.  Your the best mom because you make the best Banana Chocolate Smoothies EVER!"

I didn't have the heart to tell him where we live (Bay City, MI)
I'm probably the ONLY Mom that makes banana chocolate smoothies.

Why Banana Chocolate Smoothies?
They are a healthy alternative to sugary treats like slushies or ice cream.
Its also a great way to keep from banana waste!  When my bananas get just ripe enough that I don't want to eat them (too many brown spots), I freeze them and use them later for smoothies!

What goes into one of these Awesome Smoothies, you ask?
I took Dr. Furhman's recipe for "Furhman Fudgcicles" and used cocoa powder instead of carob powder, added Chia seeds and modified it to a smoothie.
(therefore the credit really goes to the good Dr. F)

Banana Chocolate Smoothie
1 ripe banana (per person)
1 tbsp cocoa powder (not dutch) (per person)
1 tbsp Chia seeds or ground flax seed (per person)
1/2 tbsp raw cashews (optional.. adds to flavor..  I sometimes use another nut or none if I don't have any)
1/2 unsweetened soy or almond milk (Approximate per person to blend and achieve desired consistency/flavor)
Ice cubes (for desired consistency)

Put all of first ingredients except ice in blender and blend.
Add Ice, if desired, until its as slushy as you like

You can use frozen bananas with or without ice.  If you use frozen bananas without ice it is more of a milk-shake-type of consistency.  If you use non-frozen bananas you will probably want to add ice to chill it and make it a little slushy.  I usually always add ice (whether I have frozen bananas or not) because I like the slushy feel it gives.  If I used frozen bananas and ice I add more soymilk to help me blend it.  Also, if my bananas were smaller than usual and the cocoa is too strong, I will add a little more soymilk to make it more creamy tasting.

What a tasty treat to add along with Breakfast, Lunch, or sometimes Dinner!

The Last 10

Over the past year I have lost several pounds by eating high nutrient foods and exercising.
I am at the last 10 pounds.
I have been told by some I am fine how I am.
I have been told by many they wish they were as thin.

I, however, don't quit before reaching the finish.

I WILL lose the last 10.
I WILL lose the ugly tummy skin and flab.
I will lose those flappy, thappy thighs!

I have heard those will be the last to go.

Last 10

Tummy

Thighs

They say the last ten is hardest to lose.

I say, "BRING IT ON!"

Pondering Death

It does me no good to pine about death.

I used to be obsessed with death.
I think it was that prayer
"if I shoudl die before I wake"
I would think, "what if I don't wake up"
(Of course, at the time I was so afraid of going to hell, no wonder I was terrified!)

The only thing death really means is I won't see someone again in this lifetime.

Death -- it's really only bad for the living.

I can think of worse things than death:
An estranged loved one that will no longer speak to you is worse than a dead loved one.

I thought I might die a couple times, but didn't want to leave my unfinished business: a life not fully lived.

Death.

It's really a reminder to live life.

Poisonous Mushrooms = Dead Dog

My dog is dead.
It took about a day.
I wasn't prepared for this.
We think she ate a mushroom in the back yard yesterday morning.
I wish I had known they were out there.
I wish I had known they were poisonous.
I wish I had known.
She was still a puppy.
How do I tell my 5 year old son (who is still in bed)?
I wish I heard her barking in the back yard.
She could have another one of my sandals to chew.

Starting the Revolt against Junk Food at Home

I am starting a revolt against junk food.
Too often, I hear, its okay to let them have some junk once in a while (about the kids, about my kid).
ITS NOT OK!!!!
He's addicted to junk food, and like an addict when he gets his hands on a little, he wants a lot.

My son is chubby.
He is in the higher percentile for weight.  I thought I was doing fine by him to let him have a candy once in a while.  Then I found out how much he was getting at preschool, and daycare and Grandma's.  No wonder he has gotten chubby!

I removed the sugar in the house.
I use dates to sweeten things.
I will buy no more processed cold cereals.
 This morning my son had a small serving of blueberry oatmeal with Chia seeds in it and a little soymilk and we shared a smoothie with blueberries, banana, and spinach.

He starts kindergarten in the fall.
I am nervous about the conversations with the school about
NOT using M&Ms to count with
NOT giving him suckers on the bus.
NOT giving him candy, cookies, "fruit" snacks.

Let the other parents roll their eyes,
Let the teachers think I'm mean,
Let my extended family think I am a health-nut-wack-job,
Let my co-workers laugh at my really big salads.

I told my son that vegetables have super-powers.
I do believe this is true.
At first he asked, "what kind of powers?  Can I do this?" (doing a spider-man wrist flick)
I said, "no, but they have the power to help you from getting sick"
He says, "but sugar has the power to make me sick?"
He's catching on...

To the Tim Horton's Customer Blocking Traffic - - -

Dear Tim Horton's Customer,

I know, I know, you really need your coffee and doughnut.
But why must you always block traffic?
Sitting there, in the road, waiting in that very long drive through line?
Are there no parking spots in the lot?
Can you not walk inside until you have had your fix?
Maybe you need coffee to get your legs moving?
I wish you wouldn't make me late for work.
I thought I would make it on time until I got stuck behind you.
I'll bet if you walked inside you would be in and out in no time,
probably a lot sooner than you would get to the window.
You might have to move your feet, though..
I know its a lot to ask, but it could help you burn off that doughnut or at least one or two Tim Bits.

Losing MY Religion

I was trying to figure out exactly when I lost my religion.

I remember sitting in Church one Sunday morning, after a long night of partying (I was probably about 20 at the time). I don't know if I had even been to bed yet. But I was doing what I thought was the right thing and since I was still living at home with my mom, I didn't want to hear it about not going. So, I was sitting in church this particular Sunday and there was this old priest (originally from Poland, I believe) filling in for the regular one. I remember him going on and speaking about all these evil doers (he might not have called them evil doers, but that was the gist of it). This surprised me, as the Catholic church is usually more mellow than some of the other Christian religions. He was talking about people who smoked marijuana (me), Gay people (my friends), Drinkers (more friends) these were just a few of the people he was talking about in negative (people who are going to hell if they don't confess) way. I knew all priests aren't so horribly judgemental (or at least not openly, so), but as I sat there, ears practically bleeding, I knew that it would be my last time at that church. After all, "what would Jesus do"? "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" is what I kept thinking. I can't stand hypocrisy.

I would make at least one feeble attempt to reclaim my religion, like a lot of people do, at a low point in my life a year or so later. I was really down after a relationship breakup, after drinking a little too much cough syrup, I thought I was losing my mind and my grip on reality. I even thought the Klu Klux Klan was coming to get me once (why they would want a whitey like me, is another question altogether). So in the midst of losing my mind, first I got a pet, then I thought I should return to church. I wouldn't go back to that old church, however! I was going to try another Catholic church in town. So on my way to the vet, my kitten and I stopped at the church. I don't think they were thrilled when I carried a kitten in with me, but they signed me up anyway, and I became their newest member. They took a picture of me (and my kitten) to hang on their new member board. I never did show up to their church, however. I laugh about it every time I think about it (who goes to sign up for church with their kitten?)!

I've come a long way since those crazy days. I've taken up a healthier natural approach to life and my happiness. I don't even take cough syrup for my cough. And I don't smoke anything anymore, not that I am opposed to it (its nicer for my lungs, I figure). I've pondered, philosophized, theorized, and rationalized. What have I concluded? I don't believe in God the way I used to. Instead, I believe myself to be a goddess capable of far more than I had imagined. I believe I am part of an ultimate universe of Love which all things are apart of. Some may call that God, but I prefer Universe. My God (Universe) doesn't condemn. Its all about love. There is no fear or fiery hell (a scary bed time story told to make us behave). Its all love, baby, and I find I am so much happier since I have shed that fear.

Great Weekend & Thoughts of Nutrition.. Here's to Life

Its been a busy, fun weekend so far. It was nice to get to Sanford Beach with my 5 year old son, my best friend, and 3 of her children.

We need to do things like this more often. Since my son is an only child (i could never successfully maintain a pregnancy after him). It is nice for him to be with the other children. I also enjoy hanging out with Bea and her kids, as they are much like family to me.
We swam in the lake and went to the splash park. A great Time was had by all.

Now its Sunday, time for a little Grocery Shopping, a little houswork, AND a little relaxation too!

I have also been thinking about nutrition a lot again this weekend. Its something that has been on my mind a lot lately. In November I did Dr Fuhrman's 6 week holiday Challenge. I lost about 20 pounds since doing it. I had already cleaned up my diet and lost weight prior, but wanted to kick it to the next level of ultimate nutrition. But then I started to slip and slide off again. A vegan muffin here, a little maple syrup there.. Its not just myself that concerns me, however. I am trying to feed my son a very healthy diet without processed foods, without refined flours and without refined sugars. This is EXTREMELY difficult. It shouldn't be, however, CANDY surrounds us! Its at grabbing level in the super market, they put in in almost all the foods, they make sugary fruit snacks and pass them off as healthy, and it is made out to be the norm. I am also surrounded by this prevailing notion that by denying my child these things I will turn him into a "weirdo". I am working really hard on getting over these things. When we go to the grocery store today I will give him his quarter for the machines at the end and am going to encourage him to get a toy and not gum or candy. We will date nut popems at home for a sweet bite or eat some fruit or a smoothie. I haven't even begin to think about how to deal with Halloween this year!

Maybe it is good that his transition has been a little slower than I had hoped (instead of cold turkey), but I can still see the junk food addiction in him. When we went to the family reunion he "cracked out" on the chips and the sweets. I didn't want to say "no don't have any" but next time I am going to have to say.. "chill out and only have a little".. I know potato chips and pastries and baked goods are the worst thing he can eat. I also am not naive enough to think as he gets older he WILL make choices once in a while to eat crappy food with his friends. I do, however, dread the moment he may decide to try meat (ack!) Thankfully, it is enough for him to know right now that meat is "dead cow, dead pig" etc.

To help on Aiden's healthy journey we have been making transitions and modifications to existing things he likes. Instead of Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches we do Natural no sugar Peanut Butter (not that JIF crap) with sliced grapes on whole wheat bread. That was a big transition. We no longer buy store bought juices instead I bought a juicer and once in a while I make him a cup of fresh fruit juice. He won't eat my vegetable soup yet, but I am working on modifications on recipes all the time to feed him healthy things. He has gotten awfully hooked on crisp rice cereal, however, and I am working on healthier breakfast alternatives. He got tired of blueberry oatmeal. I am going to have him help me make a grocery list today and we will decide yummy healthy foods to make. I am going to have him pick out some fruit all for himself at the store (I remember I used to like that when I was a kid).

When I was little I remember my dad would take us to the fruit market and tell me I could pick out one thing. My fondest memory was picking a small personal watermelon just for me. I LOVE watermelon. Sometimes I would pick a peach or a plum. I always loved natures bounties and sweet nectars. We also went blueberry picking every year when I was a kid too. To this day I LOVE bluberries and watermelons the best... MMMMM... I think it is these experiences that shape the way you look at food later in life, therefore I hope to help shape Aiden's outlook to be a healthy one.

As with most things in life, we are taking our journey step by step. We can learn from our mistakes or we can repeat them, and if we repeat them we can choose to either keep repeating them or to make a change. My son isn't old enough to realize the consequences poor eating could have on him later in life, but I do realize it and, as a parent, its my responsibility to feed him accordingly AND set a good example myself.

Here's to a Long, Healthy, Happy Life! Thanks Dr. Furhman for the recipes and sound nutritional advice.

Discovering my career path.

I really want to break out of my day job and find an actual career. Since I was 16, I have been doing the "responsible" thing and getting payed small wages for rendering service so I can eat, buy gas, go to work, go to bed, Or as Melissa Etheridge says in her one song "work, eat, sleep, work eat sleep, work eat sleep... suffocating my delight". I need to set out and discover my delight and find a delightful job! Why has this been a problem?

I think finding my delight and a delightful job has been difficult because I haven't been able to fully realize where my passion lies. Don't get me wrong, I have become passionate about a good many things. I am passionate about this healthy lifestyle I am learning and pursuing. I even thought about going to school to become a fitness trainer or something similiar, but, having bum knees has put a damper on doing that. I am passionate about music but I am not a musician, I just like listening to it. I am passionate about art, but I am not an accomplished artist I really just enjoy other people's art. I am passionate about movies, but I don't know if I could be paid to watch movies, unless I became a movie editor. I am passionate about many things that don't seem to translate into career.


I went to college for psychology and one day I was sitting in an "abnormal psych" class and while the professor lecturing about how they determine abnormal: they look at the average population as a base on the norm with people outside that norm being considered abnormal (or something like that.. it was a long time ago). As I listened to this lecture, I remember thinking "I'm not normal, does that make me, therefore crazy? And whose to say this mass population really is the normal and sane just because they are the majority? Just because the majority say that God exists, it doesn't necessarily make it so" I decided that day I wouldn't be a psychologist, and furthermore, didn't want any thing more to do with it.


When I was in high school I thought I wanted to be a writer. I suppose that is a thought... I am embarking on discovering if that would be a niche to follow. I have heard that if you want to write, however, you should write SOMETHING every day. Well looky here --- a BLOG!

Though I don't know where my blog journey will take me, I feel I owe it to myself to start writing somewhere and this blog is my start, not necessarily my end, destination.

Here we go!